CHARLES IN CHARGE?

I’ve decided to do something insane. Start a production diary for every project I work on from here on out. We’ll see how long I’ll actually keep this going. 

This will be the place I expunge my idiosyncratic dogma and random feelings about the state of the production. I want to be as honest as possible in these, but know that things may have to be glossed over on the off chance that they may come back to haunt me. Trust me though, I will bring up when that is occurring. 

SIDEWORK PRODUCTION:”TAKE TWO” Diary 1

12/01/12 : DECEMBER 1ST, 2012 (SATURDAY)

I am sitting at work (a brick and mortar video store), feeling like death warmed over. The night before the midnight society (with very special guest Molly and some other new faces to routine) decided to hold an impromptu outdoors hang out night.

The Midnight Society hangs out on Friday Nights; watches movies (most awful), watches TV shows, and just all around has a night of laughter and good times. Usually this is done from the comfort of Double J studios (John and Jes’ living room). There have been many incarnations of this Society, with different members filtering in and out. The one that generally is the main set up, includes:Adam, John, Jes, and myself. We have had other notable lineups include: Julie(World Traveler extraordinaire) , Kyle, Dan (Danimal/Cage/What the Heckel) , Chris P (Ling Ling/King of Vegas), and Chris Lary (L.A.Q - best friend/production partner/one half of LARY-BYRD/all around dope dude). 

On this night we all are sitting outside a Village bar and are doing what we always do. Talk about pop culture, video games, and movies. As we enjoy libations and to a lesser extent southern winter, someone wanted to know what we were getting into after we finished said drinks and tabbed out.

Then it happened. Someone said, “Strip Club?” Then came the banging and the chanting. “Strip Club…Strip Club…Strip Club.” And like a verbal stadium wave, the entire table (outside of The K.O.V/Ling Ling). Turns out Ling Ling had to get to work in the morning and wasn’t looking forward to getting blitzed, going to a strip and blowing money. 

I thought about his very mature and smart decision at that moment, but with it being Friday and a pay day at that, I joined the breast seeking mob. I then proceeded to lament my having to wake up at 8 am and get ready to go to work Saturday morning as well. Only to end it with, “But I don’t give a F!” Throwing my support to nude woman, as is usually the case. 

Ling Ling relented and the game was a foot. We tabbed out and headed to Double J studios to, some of us, change and collect the needed singles and cash money for with to show the lovely ladies that we enjoyed and respected their services. 

After almost stepping on, what looked like the remnants of someones dinner from earlier that night sprayed on the concrete outside the gas station; I got a twenty turned into singles. Then off to Double J studios to meet up so that we could visit the G.C for the first time (for some of us, yours included).

Now it wasn’t as big as I expected, but it was a sight to behold. There is something to be said about the decor of Strip Clubs. It’s not something you can find in many other businesses. Utterly unique. 

Once inside, Adam and I sat at the stage while we waiting for members of the group to find us. Sitting at the stage is interesting, for me at least. I feel awkward when a girl, I am not interested in (even nude, which makes it worse) tries to get my attention but I’m not courting it. I still will give the young lady a dollar, but with no interest in what the connotation that goes with me giving her a dollar. 

Luckily that was not the case with the girl on the stage at that current time. We were sitting there talking and had absentmindedly folded a dollar and put it on the stage. After collecting her dollar from Adam and moving on to mine, I looked at Adam and went for a high five motion. Of course we crushed what would soon become the first in a long night of fist bumps, high fives, and other manly signs of camaraderie. The dancer on the stage told me to get up, then proceeded to play pong with my face in between her breasts. I had never been so happy to have my face treated like a small, hollow, ping pong ball. She asked where we were going to be sitting and that she would find us later, unfortunately she did not.

The rest of the group found a, obviously black light enthusiast treasure trove of a couch and a couple chairs that rolled, and oh would they. We sat in a sort of circle, with two of us with our backs to the stage, although looking in one of the bevy of mirrors gave you the same exact show.  We proceeded to talk and continue to drink and shoot the shit, as one might say. 

Soon after a tall, blonde dancer made her way to the group. In stereotypical fashion, her hills sounded like click clacks being bounced mightily off each other. Through a quick conversation, John procured this delight womans lap dance services for my lap. It was nice, obviously but also a source of laughter. Laughter on both her and my part. First thing she does is go to push the rolling chair I was sitting in backwards, to give us more room for the upcoming faux interest and sexual attraction for a song. She seemed to have slipped on her dress. She quickly made a joke about not having drank that many drinks. I then quickly decided a quip heavy interaction would be beneficial for both of us, with such a strangely impersonal yet personal transaction about to occur.

As a slight patron of such establishments, I have keyed on very quickly that the women are there to represent your fantasy and to stroke your ego. At the same time, as a patron, your there to enjoy the company of beautiful women. Those women smell simply fantastic. I wish you could bottle up that concoction, a mix of sweat, and perfume. It’s amazing, especially to a single man. 

The female form is amazing and I’m going to try not to go into a rant about how beautiful I find the fairer sex.

So the young lady finished and told me that I made her laugh. I appreciated the stroke of ego, but its totally unnecessary for a guy like me. I am the last person that needs his ego stroked, it makes me feel awkward. While I appreciate it, I always want it to be over with as soon as it begins. 

Soon after we got some awesome news, Mr. Lary would be making an appearance at the club with us. It had been a excruciatingly long time since everyone had hung out together as a big group. The last time was John and Jes’ wedding a year or two earlier. John, Jes, and I, along with Madi had been there to see Chris and Kim get engaged during the end of the summer. So it had been a while.

Throughout the night a friend of Dan came through and Chris P remembered that he knew the waitresses (who was incredibly hot by the way) roommate. Not much later, Lary showed up, and the rest of the night began. I got a mini lap dance with the shot girl, who was amazing by the way. As John said, it was indeed the best deal in the club. 5 bucks for a dance and a hot girl giving you a lime (or in my case a cherry) with her mouth.

I walked back up to the main stage and gave a few dollars to “one of the most traditionally hot strippers I’ve ever seen”(-Chris Lary).I have to admit I was turned on when after slinking down the steps, she asked me could I “handle this?” It was a good question, that considering I was just going to stand there while placed her legs around my neck and rhythmically thrust her groin towards my face. Another situation that deserved the ‘awesome’ moniker.  

As the night was winding down, I was fortunate to see Molly’s incredibly sexy interaction with a stripper that took a liking to her. It was one of the hottest things I’ve ever had happen with-in 2 feet of my person. Through out the night there was a girl wearing Hart Foundation colors (pink and black) that was extremely attractive. Dan kept trying to get me to go and get her to come over, but I decided to play it cool and let her come up to our section. Which did not happen.

While I did not get my white whale, another close replacement was more than appreciated. She had a Barbie necklace, which of course I had to make a comment about. She had really large breasts. I mean, she was blonde and had big yabbos. She said she was, my malibu Barbie. If that is what is to be found in Malibu, I look forward to meaningless snuggling between there large yabbos. Of course I made mention of her supernaturally soft breasts. Which she dragged across my face, even rubbing nipple against my lips. Amazing. Graphic, I know, but amazing. As she did that she whispered in my ear, moaned, and even licked inside my ear. She earned the 20 dollars Dan gave her for me to the penny.

Her attention to detail and presentation did more for me than any of the other girls that made contact with my lap region. Not even a question. The night came to an end at 2 o’clock when the club turned into a 10 buck a head breakfast club. Having to be at work to open the store at 10 am (I also had to meet my god sister to pick up…my medicine of sorts) , I was more than ready to take our leave. Although I didn’t want the fun with friends to end.

After having everyone enjoy a night of celebration together, it helps me want to work that much harder so that those kind of nights can take place whenever we feel the slightest urge.

For now I sit here watching The Simpsons, Paranorman, and Scrooged to relax and try to stay awake. Ultimately my awful feelings today are totally worth the amount of fun I had last night/this morning. Good talks with John, Adam, Chris P, Jes, Dan, Lary, and the fine ladies of the Gentleman’s Club are moments I’ll always remember and probably figure out how to add to future episodes or movies I work on in the future.

In the words of Big Sean “this is how life should go. Good people, good drink, good smoke. Good people all around, no highs no lows.” That’s the goal. At least for me, ultimately. Tomorrow night once again starts the marathon to that finish line.